My life group friends!

Tonight I found out that you guys actually read this thing so I thought I would drop you a line.

You guys are awesome! Every night when Sarah and I drive home we talk about how amazing life group was. It is such an encouragement to be able to talk about and share life with all of you.

God is continuing to confront me with the fact that I really have very little control over others and really that the only thing I have control over is my free will to either submit to God and his will or to attempt to do it on my own, out of my own strength. However, it is such a relief to know that I dont have to carry that weight anymore because God wants to carry it.

He even reminds us how we are to posture ourselves in relationship to the burdens we try to carry in our own strength in Matthew 11:28-30.........

...Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Come take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For MY yoke is easy and MY burden is light.

To me the key word is MY...that is possesive language referring to the one who is saying it...MY refers to God not me. How cool that we can give up our burden and allow him to take it. What is really cool is that our tendency to take offense is a part of this burden he wants to take. It reminds me of how the guy in the video described God standing with his hands behind is back just waiting for us to allow him to defend us. But instead we so often try to defend ourselves against offenses and that disables God from carrying what only he is able to carry.

Life group is not enough, lets keep talking about this stuff. Shoot Sarah and I an email or give us a call. You guys are awsome!

Trees and Roots and spiritual Vagabonds..What the Heck

Life group tonight was so awsome! Our lifegroup has been going through a series called the Bait of Satan which is basically a teaching series about the bait of satan. Or to be more clear about the role that taking offense can play by stopping us from living up to our God calling by causing us to be unable to forgive, repent, ect.

Long story short, the guy who is speaking in this series began to talk about trees and gave an amazing picture to think about.

Psalm 92:13 those who are planted in the house of the lord shall flourish in the courts of our God.

John Bevere - The Bait of Satan

What happens to a fruit tree if you are a planter and you uproot it every couple of months? The root system begins to dwarf and eventually it stops producing fruit. And eventually if you keep transplanting it, it dies. Do you know what trees use to send their roots down? Trees will use adverse weather to send their roots deeper. Adversity causes trees roots to go deeper. But if the farmer were to listen to the tree, if the tree could speak, the tree would say..."Get me out of here! I hate this!" And if the farmer transplanted it, guess what, it would rob the tree of the opportunity to send its roots deeper. Why, because in the drought that tree has to go deeper to find water. I have a friend who lives in an area of the country which went through a severe drought. And all of a sudden their toilets all stopped working. So they called the Roter Rooter man out and the Roter Rooter man said, "Yep, just what I expected. A root from the tree sensed the moisture from inside the PVC pipe and went right through it to get the moisture." What caused that tree to have that kind of tenacity? The adversity! So what happens is people start running from church to church to church, because the first time you leave out of an offense its gonna be easier the next time to leave out of offense. Why? Because your root system is dwarfed.

Psalm 1:2 Blessed is the man...who's delight is the law of the Lord, and in His law he meditates both day and night.

Psalm 119:165 Great peace have they which love the law; and nothing shall offend them.

Nothing shall offend them! Now watch becasue Psalm 1:3 goes on to say...He shall be like a tree planted by rivers of water, that brings forth its fruit in season.

Who is he? He, is who delights in the law, who loves the law of the Lord. Nothing shall offend him. So what is he saying with these two verses? He is saying that one who delights in the law of the Lord is one who is rooted, and grounded. His roots go down deep and even in adversity he will produce fruit.

And do you know what I found amazing, do you know what I found out? In Florida the juice of oranges doesnt get sweet until you have the cold. Till you have adverse weather, then the juice becomes sweet. If we allow the adversity, if we allow the Holy Spirit to work through adversity when it comes, we would become sweeter like the fruit. Now listen becasue this now makes sense. Listen to what Jesus says in Mark 4:16-17 ...And these are they likewise which are sown on stoney ground; who when they have heard the word immediately recieve it with gladness..So were not talking about a sinner here. Sinners do not recieve the word with gladness. Were talking about people on Sunday mornings, Sunday nights, Wednesday nights, people who go "Wow, pastor that is good!" Right? Now watch this...Mark 4:16 ..who immediately recieve the word with gladness...vs 17..And have no roots in themselves, and so endure for a time: afterward, when affliction or persecution comes for the words sake they are immediately OFFENDED. Why are they offended? They have not allowed their roots to go down. You want to find shallow trees? Just send in a hurricane through Florida and you will find allow the shallow trees, their gone, their uprooted. But you want to find the strong trees...I remember when i was in Florida I went by this cypress tree that was around when Moses was around. They had a sign on their that said how old it was. It was a 4,000 year old cypress tree. Let me tell you many hurricanes have gone through there but that tree is still there. They didnt do a thing to him. Why? Becasue he is rooted.

Now, listen, when you leave out of an offense, pay attention becasue this is going to explain some things you have seen in others behavior. So were not talking about you this morning are we? All right you ready? When you leave out of an offense your root system dwarfs, so the next time you leave out of an offense its easier, and then the next time its easier again, and then the next time again. Whether its a marraige or a church, or what ever it is it gets easier to leave again, and easier to leave again. Are you seeing this? You see, if you dont deal with the offense, your roots system gets dwarfed. And you know what eventually happens...You become a spiritual vagabond. You know what a vagabond is...a wanderer. You wander from ministry to ministry, from church to church.

Now there is another guy who is a vagabond and his name is Cain. Now I find an amazing thing here. The problem is when ever we think of Cain and Abel we always think of the outcome and how much of a wicked sinner this guy Cain was. No, no, no, no, read carefully, these are two sons of Adam and Eve and both of them are diligently working to bring an offering to God. I got news for you..people out there in the bars are not working diligently to bring offerings to the Lord this morning. We are talking about two guys who are diligently working to bring offering to the Lord. In fact if you really think about it Cain is working harder. Abel is a shepard and works in the morning and in the evening but during the hottest part of the day he is sitting under a tree sipping on a cool one. Meanwhile farming is harder and Cain is working in the hot sun all day. Farming you have to operate through the whole day. So Cain is working harder, yet when Cain brings his offering the Bible says that God rejects Cain and his offering.

Summarizing Now because it is no longer an hour in which it honoring to God the be awake...

Now Adam and Eve were ignorant, Cain and Abel wernt. God specifically showed them what he desired in an offering. Cain and Abel had learned from their Mom and Dad what was acceptable as an offering to God and what was obedience. So when Cain offered his fruit of the ground it represents a disobedient offering, he is serving God his own way. And so when God rejects him, God says to him that he does not respect Cain and his offering and Cain was.................


ECT I gotta Stop..its too late...call me for the details.. it was awsome...i got the dvd..........sorry to leave you hanging......who am i kidding.........i am the only one who ever looks at this blog............Aaron go to bed!!!!!! Am i typing to myself...........where am I????????????Good night.

Update

Howdy to all my friends...It has been forever since I have blogged anything so I though I might just give an update. God has been so good. The last two years have been pretty crazy...school, school, school. I pretty much eat drink and sleep school. Either teaching or learning it has been all about school. I feel like my brain has basically been pickled and put in a jar that says school on it.

Our life group this round has been amazing and God has been totally challenging me in so many ways. Since school has a grip on my time let me give you an update. Simply put...there is nothing I can do. This is the greatest conclusion I have come to this year because now that I know for a fact that I am powerless to truly and deeply change others I have been able to allow God to do what he does so well.

Dont get me wrong I am not saying I dont play a role...what I am saying is that I am understanding in a greater way what my role truly is. God has placed within me a desire to serve others and has put me in a place where I can join him in a way that is so fulfilling that I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God is giving me my hearts desire, and that he is using me to show others his love.

My good friend is always saying that we must come to empty or brokeness in order for God to completely fill us. What a process! Oh yeah, God refining you isnt always fun. I seemed to have forgot that. What is amazing is that while this process of refining is so challenging and well...not fun..I can totally see God working in me, bringing me to empty so that I can see what he is doing and that it is not about me.

Continually this month there have been such crazy happenings at school and in my life that have been overwhelming and which have no clear answer that I can define. At first I felt frustrated, stumped, I wanted to solve the problem, give the perfect advice, help this person or that person change, be the hero, save the day. In the end I have found out that there is nothing in my human wisdom or any other persons human wisdom that could solve some of the issues which have been placed in front of me. There is only one answer in order for there to be change...GOD YOU MUST MOVE, YOU MUST ACT, YOU MUST INCREASE AND I MUST DECREASE.

I have heard so many times people state the standard Christian jargon. People reciting advice they have heard pastors speak, or something they have read in a book. It seems to me that these magic words are meaningless until God opens your eyes to the depth of their meaning. He can use all kinds of circumstances, people, conversations, adversity, ect... the important thing seems to be how we react to these circumstances.. are we looking to see what God is opening our eyes to or are we hardening our hearts to the Holy Spirit's nudging. Are we trying to meet the expectations of men or are we with a humble spirit realizing that we are powerless until God moves on our hearts and opens our minds to his truth.

I want to seek truth. I seek change that is permanent not temporary. I want God's heart for the lost, and the wisdom to know how I can join him in what he is doing in my life and the people who he has placed around me. I want to seek God for God not God for man's approval. I want to move into maturity which anchors me through lifes storms. I want sincerity in my relationships. I want forgiveness in my heart. I want God.

Of Men and Ships

I read an amazing quote you might enjoy... It seems true in my life about God.

"If you want to build a ship, don't drum up the men to gather wood, divide the work, and give orders. Instead, teach them to yearn for the vast and endless sea."
- Antoine de Saint Exupery

How often I find myself in this old place again. I gather the materials I think I need, I divide up what it will take to make it happen, then I put expectations and give myself orders. Then I put the ship in the water and it sinks....

Instead, teach them to yearn for the vast and endless sea.... I think I must lose sight of God at times in this process of my life, and put expectations on myself which he does not have for me. He has a ship for me. And he desires me to build it. But first he desires me to yearn for the vast and endless sea which is who he is. Sometimes I stand on the cliffs facing the vast ocean and I stare and dream. Other times I focus so much on the cliffs I become fearful and don't trust that God has a plan to get to the water. So I lose focus of the sea and it takes friends to remind me where my focus needs to be. Thanks Guys!

Of Ants and Magnifying Glasses

Change is so elusive. We live our lives day to day, many times without a reflective thought as to what we are doing. This is not that season for me. It seems like this is the season of the magnifying glass. You know what I mean. Just think ants on a hot day with a magnifying glass, no chance whatsoever. But this is also refining because this season has been drawing me towards God.

I have been chewing on this concept in reference to this season in my life:

The affections of ones's heart reveal the condition of one's life. Jesus said that the out of the overflow of his heart a man speaks and the secrets of his heart will be laid bare.

I keep finding myself here. This season has put a magnifying glass on me in which I have been questioning and understanding what exactly the affections of my heart are. Some of the overflow of my heart has been ugly - and much of the overflow has been a reassurance of who God is calling me to be.

Who Can Say It Better Than Rocky

I never thought that God would give me a heart for a kid in a gang...but he has. I never thought God would give me a heart for kids who cant seem to make one right decision but he has. I never believed that God would give me the desire to love people who have forgotten the reason why they are living but he has. I had a hard time believing that God could change a hard hearted man but it is happening in front of my eyes. I always professed that God had given me a heart for people but I never really thought it would look like this ...but it does. God is putting the people of Rocky in my path...the people, kids, and adults who have been beaten to their knees, who have experienced that the world can be an ugly, nasty place but who need to be reminded to get back up and that there is hope.
Recently at my school we have been dealing with many Gang issues and it is ugly. A few kids have been knocked off their feet while trying to do the right thing and are losing the desire to get back up...they in their weakness see the only way out as enacting violence. But who can say it better than Rocky.. "it aint about how hard you can hit, its about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward, its about how much you can take and keep moving forward!"
You see- God is in this situation that I find myself in the middle of. I see God moving in this kid with a violent past who is trying to change. I see God in the kids who desire violence and have known nothing but violence. I see God because I now speak out of experience and not theory that God has given me a heart for people... people who are different than me, and maybe you. God's heart is for us all. I think he sees the down and out kids, the gang kids, the kids who hope for a better future and he ignites in us moments where we face a crossroads of decision...are we going to move forward or live in lie that our ability to enact violence or maintain control is even real. God is showing me how shallow my heart has been towards certain people and it knocked me down...but with God at my side I remember "it aint about how hard you can hit, its about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward, its about how much you can take and keep moving forward!"

Dreaming

It is my goal to blog more often. It seems that the best way i process information and what is happening in my life is to talk it through. Tonight i am listening to sigur ros and writing because i find the music very inspiring and it motivates me to reflect. I thought i would blog some of my reflections with my friends because i believe sharing it with you is in a way inviting you into my walk.

This year has been challenging for me and one area in which i know that God has been working has been in my ability to follow through with what i have started. In many ways i have fallen on my face in this area, and in other ways i have been very successful. It has been a blessing to me that God has given me a great ability to dream big and hang out with friends who are like. While this whole concept of dreaming is familiar to me (since i live here quite often in my mind) it is not to many who surround me such as my students who cant seem to recognize the forest through the trees, or for some of my teacher friends whom i love but have lost the passion to be creative. What is interesting to see is how we each play our role and temper each other. My feet are learning to touch the ground. By that i mean that i am learning to follow through on some of my dreams and make them a reality. Other dreams have yet to come to fruition but the singular fact that some of them are being realized gives me hope that God is working through me and the desires he has given me. And while i continue to dream and desire, even in my failure, when things dont come to fruition, God is still using me in my weakness to encourage others to take risks and dream.

One of the Dreams that i have had which is being birthed in me is to be a great father and husband. I have even taken some drastic measures which may be misunderstood to some to make that dream a reality. I believe God is changing things in me to make this happen. I never would have guessed that by opening this door to change that it would be so difficult or challenging. Almost immediately after taking this first step i have been challenged and am now in the process of facing one of the barriers that must be overcome in order to move forward. How amazing that in my frustration and depression I also have great joy because i know that in this challenge God is working in me and shaping me to look the way he desires me to look. It is different for each of us the way God moves and desires us individually to look while at the same time it is very similar. God desires this specific change in me to nudge me gently closer to his image and in doing so is granting me the desire of my heart. What it took was for me to initially began to recognize what i needed to lay down that i thought i needed to control or be a part of to allow him to move. He desires this in each of use...how amazing that God knows each of us so intimately that he knows just what chord to strike to nudge us in his direction in his perfect patience and timing. I am truly blessed.

David is perhaps my favorite person in the Bible because i like the way he interacted with God. David was in no means perfect obviously (hello Bathsheba) but he was called a man after God's own heart. I imagine David as a young man watching his fathers sheep laying on his back at night looking at the stars and wondering what God had for him and this life. Was sheep herding all there was for him? Or was there something more? God in his perfect timing began to speak to David and through David, with his special nudge God began to expose to David the true character within him. A lion, a Bear... moments where David faced a crossroads of decision that birthed in him great terror and total determination to be faithful to his position and job. God was showing David he was a leader. As David grew he continued to look at the stars and wonder. Time passed, as did many events but David still walked with God...Grounded by the many starlight discussions and questions only he and God knew about. He struggled, fought, made mistakes, had anger towards God, he even questioned God and asked him where he was in his time of need, and he continually fell on his face while making mistakes and having great triumphs. I love David because David was a man unafraid to ask questions, to struggle, to make mistakes and dream with God about the possibilities under the stars. I desire that kind of reality, at times i have had it, I want more.