Wednesday, May 26, 2010

A New Season

I am entering into a new season in my life. There is a lot of change. A lot of things coming my way which are out of my control and some that are. What I do know is that the coming season is wild and new, uncharted waters for me and others with whom I will join. Our story is fresh, full of fear of the unknown, and in some ways familiar. Familiar in the sense that the unknown is always where trail blazers live life. I have joined a group of people who live to break the trail, to live life in the unknown, to test their courage, instincts, and put their passions to the test.

So bring on the unknown because the only way to learn is to confront your fears, to walk towards the unknown and know that the greatness of the conflict only makes the story better.

Sharing a Scene in My Life

I have been recently reading Don Millers book A Million Miles in a Thousand Years and it has been deeply impacting me. He talks about how the elements that make a story good are the same elements that make a good story of our lives.

I have been enjoying the book so much I started teaching through it to all of my classes at Pioneer. I figured I had nothing to lose with 6 weeks left of my teaching career at this point in my life. I have been trying to inspire the kids with the book and it has been awesome.

Yesterday I had a conversation with a friend about a stirring thing I was organizing and Sarah came in and offered her opinion about the issue. I shot her down saying that the idea wouldn't work and implied that it was stupid. Sarah didn't say anything and left the room. I didn't even realize I had dealt with her so harshly and continued in my conversation with my friend sitting at the dinner table. I wasn't even really aware that she was offended.

Later that night after the boys were in bed Sarah came in and sat down on the opposite side of the couch from me and it was obvious something was wrong, she was upset, and I started to get offended. "What are you all worked up about?" I said in a frustrated voice. She stated that I had hurt her feelings and made her feel stupid. Then it happened.

Just like in a movie or in a story I had a flashback. I realized I was in a scene in the story of my life, and that I had a choice to make. In my flashback I saw my life in rewind. Everyday I get up at 6 and then meet someone at 630, then we talk about meaningful crap until 8, then I try to inspire kids at school until 205, then I come home kiss Sarah on the cheek and proceed to wrestle with the boys, change diapers, read them a book, then put them to bed. After that Sarah I fast forward through American Idol to see who got kicked off and then we go to bed with very few words of meaning being exchanged. Then we repeat the process every day for a couple of weeks in a row. Now we are sitting on the couch and I have a decision to make.

I could be that middle class guy in that movie who instead of treating his wife with respect and and asking for forgiveness gets offended and tells her she is being too sensitive and that her ideas were a bad, and that she didn't even know what was going on....Or....I could write that scene into my story where I realize I had been a jerk and the woman who I love the most in the world was wounded because of my carelessness. You know that scene where the guy realizes he was tired and careless with someone who he cares about. That scene where he realizes for the last two weeks the most meaningful conversation that has taken place has been about American Idol, and that he is being an idiot, and that he should ask for forgiveness and kiss the girl and make things right? You remember that scene? The one where the girls acts like she is still upset and hurt but just really wants him to take her into his arms and take care of her.

I lived that scene because I realized that when I write good scenes into my life my story gets better. And I want to live a good story where the guy gets the girl and she loves him because he respects her and is not to stubborn to admit that he made a mistake and that she is so important in his life.